The meatgrinder

(Original appeared April 13, 2016)

Today has been quite the day. I’ll start quickly by saying all is well. But we took quite a course to get back to well.
Jacob’s heart rate was running over 200 bps, which is not good. It also appears that he has PDA (read this link here for more info). The issue is that the “hole” in an infant’s heart which naturally occurs in utero, and typically closes up shortly after birth, remains open for Jacob (and most preemies). While this is common and expected, it can lead to other issues. His heart murmur indicated PDA, and so we were ready for it. But hearing the news just brings it home in a way that is harder to receive emotionally. Jacob’s other vitals are doing relatively well and so the idea is to have a second heart ultrasound on Monday and compare with the prior one so that we can see his progress. If his PDA isn’t getting better, it will be treated with medicine. If it is getting better, then we’ll let it heal by itself.
Perhaps the more stressful issue was that as I am approaching his room for an afternoon visit, I see the nurse, doctor and respiratory therapist working on Jacob in a pretty serious manner. At the same time, alarms are ringing off indicating that his oxygen level has dropped and his heart rate had slowed by quite a bit. I look up and watch the numbers. They drop, drop, drop. All the while, the staff is working calmly and confidently to “fix” the issues. I sit down with Deb in silence, holding her hand, watching the drama unfold. Within minutes, the staff has solved the issue and his levels began to rise. Slowly but surely, his vitals hit the points that they had been for the last several hours.
To those in the business who see that sort of thing all the time, it may seem like a regular day at the office. The staff was so professional and calm as they worked. The nurse even took time to explain that all is well as we watched. But to Deb and I who still view our newborn through a plastic cage, it seemed like 10 minutes in the meatgrinder.
As I finish this journal entry, Deb just notified me that J is doing much better following all of that, and that his murmur is not as noticeable as before. Also, he received another swab of mom’s milk and loved it. He really latches on to those swabs, and then licks his lips for minutes afterward. That event is so rewarding for all involved.