Son, pull my finger

(Original appeared April 11, 2016)

Sorry for that title but I couldn’t resist a bit of humor tonight. And I should also begin by adding that I, Rob, have been making these entries so far for Deb since she’s been a bit busy doing mommy things. So, for now when you read these journal entries, just know that Rob has likely written them. Be sure not to give Deb a hard time for any errors or awkward moments =)
Tonight after work, I was able to spend some time with Deb and Jacob in the NICU. We were able to watch as the nurse took just a drop of breastmilk and swabbed his tiny mouth. Almost immediately, Jacob latched on to the swab and began suckling; he just would not let go. What a neat thing to see his reflexes kick in already.
Soon after, the nurse asked if I wanted to take a photo of Jacob while having my gloved hand inside the “incubator” to give a perspective of size. Then, she laid it on me – the offer that made my entire day. She asked if I wanted to have Jacob hold my finger. Nervous, yet curious, I agreed of course. Having lubed up with sanitizer, and put on a glove, I cautiously stuck my hand into what up until now had been such an off-limits zone for us. The feeling was exhilarating.  I edged my finger close to his right hand and, ever so gently, touched his index finger. Knowing that his finger is not more than the size of a toothpick, I feared injury. And then it happened. He opened his hand, as if searching for mine. I edged my finger a bit further and without any hesitation he grabbed ahold. I was impressed with the firmness of his grip – his entire hand is only about the size of a nickel. And so with my left hand being held by my new son, I took photos with my right. I have attached one of them. I could have stood there for an hour letting him hold my finger. But I knew it was best that I break that bond for now and let him get back to sleep.

Deb was also released today which is great news. As I walked from his room and escorted Deb from the hospital into her first breath of fresh spring air in three days, I was truly floating on air. I understand that days like this will be rare, and we are about to face some serious challenges. But for today, for that moment, Deb and I allowed ourselves to surf the high tide. And what a feeling it was.
PS: Thanks to you all for joining us on this journey. It’s been nice to purge the news into these entries, and it is so nice to hear such kind and encouraging words from all of you. Again, thank you!