Patience

Have you ever been frustrated with the impatience shown by children sometimes? Maybe we adults are not unlike children in that regard.

Presumably, every parent must deal with a child who simply cannot wait to interrupt with a thought or story, cannot wait to open gifts at Christmas, cannot wait to run to the playground at recess, or cannot sit calmly during an event. I remember being impatient when my father took us on fishing when we were little. I utterly failed to appreciate the need for patience when fishing (which is why I chose this photo). A father might sit next to his child in a boat as they wait for a fish to take the bait, pulling the bobber under. The father explains that the child should be patient, yet ready for the instant the bobber moves in order to set the hook. And so the child waits. And waits. And waits. Two minutes pass as though they are two days. Sighing begins, then fidgeting, then the questions: “Why aren’t the fish biting? What’s for lunch? Can I drive the boat? When are we going home? Can we be done?” Despite the inquiries, the father knows that at any moment the child will experience the the thrill of battling a fish, “hooking” that child for a lifetime of fond memories of the fishing trip with good ol’ dad. When that moment does happen, the father spares his child the phrase “I told you so” and instead begins planning the next fishing excursion. You see, the pleasure the child experiences in finally catching a fish is surpassed only by that experienced by the father watching his child’s eyes, as big as saucers, gleam in the morning sun; the grin, ear-to-ear, on his or her face that seemingly will never fade. Soon the question becomes “Dad, when can we go fishing again?”

One might think that children are hard-wired to be extremely active and constantly on the move. They feel the need to move on to the next thing, to get their way immediately, and to receive an award without first doing the work. They must be taught by caring parents or mentors that sometimes what they want now must either wait, or not come at all. In other words, children often do not realize or appreciate that their parents have their best interests in mind.

Are we adults much different?

God’s Word references the idea of patience in more ways and in more instances than I could count. The fact that He speaks to us about patience so often certainly suggests that He, as our Heavenly Father, knows our battle with impatience. We are impatient with those around us when they fail to do as we wish, or don’t move fast enough, or make mistakes. We grow weary or upset when our neighbor acts inappropriately or hurts us.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

– Ephesians 4:2

We are also impatient with God and His work in our lives. Even when we mature as Christians and begin to understand that God’s will, in God’s time, has God’s blessing, we often fall back to the “demand”: Come Lord Jesus… right now! Parents, does this sound familiar? There are times when we get frustrated that our prayers are not answered immediately, or perhaps not at all. Much like our children making requests of us, we often know what’s best for them . In that way, we might delay responding to their requests in favor of a better time; or we might not give way to their request at all because to do so might harm them.

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

-2 Peter 3:9

Much like the fishing trip, God may know that something good is coming, and we should learn to be patient. Whatever His reasons, we must be confident that He is working in us throughout, preparing us for something wonderful. Despite withholding (or even denying us) what we want, He never ceases to provide all that we need in the meantime.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

-James 1:2-4

The question I often like to ask is “So what?” In other words, why must we endure the delays or denials? What possible good could come from our the author of our salvation remaining silent to our pleas? Perhaps the answer can be found in the lyrics to the well-known song “It is Well with my Soul”, particularly the line:

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

-“It is Well with my Soul” by Horatio Spafford

Horatio’s story is one of both tragedy, and faithfulness. Horatio penned this beautiful and introspective hymn after having lost his four daughters in a shipwreck at sea. What I find most interesting in his words, within our context here, is the phrase “Thou hast taught me”. See, Horatio came to realize that even tragic circumstances – the complete upending of an earthly plan – can be a lesson in accepting the greater picture, understanding who is in control, and being content with the knowledge that God works all things for our good. Put another way, we accept the delays and denials because God has something in store for us, and all the while is training us to grow closer to him in patient faith.

Thinking back to the “bobber” analogy, I remember sitting in the neonatal intensive care unit, staring at our premie son, Jacob, wondering to myself what might happen next. I had to suppress the conflicting thoughts that each second provided a chance that a breath of air through the machine could either be his last or be one step closer to a milestone for growth. Why must we endure this? Why must Jacob go through this? When will it end, one way or another? So often, I was too focused on our situation that I almost missed the myriad opportunities that God gave to us to minister to others, and to demonstrate God’s love. We chatted with single moms in the hospital, alone without the help of their baby’s father. We tried to sympathize with staff who cared for babies who were all but abandoned by their family. Our family wept with each other as we did our best to support each other and to grow closer in this experience. At the time, though, I failed to realize how important those moments were in my walk with God. Instead, I prayed fervently “save Jacob, but your will be done” even when I knew that I did not desire the second part of that prayer as much as desired the first part.

I may never know why our family was made to endure all of that; I’m still waiting for the “bobber” to dive under. But I find comfort when our Father reassures us in His Word to be patient, something wonderful is about to happen. In the meantime, the experience created quite a ripple effect – ripples that continue to flow outward. Now my prayer is for those ripples to touch the lives of others and to bring them to know this same God who helped us through the roughest time of our lives; the same God who is teaching us to patiently wait. Thanks be to our God, our Father who loves us regardless and inspite of our impatience.