Perspective on Introspection

Nothing causes a parent to properly focus on what is truly meaningful in life than the loss of a child.

Introspection: n. Contemplation of one’s own thoughts, feelings, and sensations; self-examination

Instant communication. Distractions from social media. Depressing or frustrating news stories. Stressful expectations of gift-giving during Christmas time. Children’s sporting events. Homework.

When do we have time to focus on our own well-being in the midst of all of this? There are days when I feel as though I don’t have a moment to myself to be still and focused. Sometimes I find truth in the saying “I’m so busy fighting with the alligators that I forgot my mission was to drain the swamp.”

Jesus understands this chaos. The wondrous thing about God becoming man is our confidence that God Himself has felt what we feel. He knows the tugs that beg for our attention. He knows the sorrows, and the joys. And so when Jesus spoke boldly to a teacher of the Law with an invitation to follow Him (Matt 8:22), He knew both what it would take to leave the earthly matters behind and how important it was for us to focus on Him. Jesus repeats this same invitation in Matt 4:19 (call to Peter and Andrew), Matt 9:9 (call to Matthew), Matt 16:24 (call to His disciples), and Matt 19:21 (call to the young rich man). Notably, of these examples the only one to refuse the call was the young rich man. The story is told, as I understand it, to illustrate the pull of worldly goods. They present a distraction from where our true focus should be – on Jesus.

I touched on this in my previous post To What End, or The Road Itself by citing Hebrews 12:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

I couple all of this with another truth I learned the moment I became a parent. God’s relationship with us becomes so much clearer when you have a child of your own to raise, nurture, educate, and love. Parents begin looking for obedience and gratitude for all the love and provisions they bestow upon their children. Parents also look for a close relationship with their child, free from distractions. I am convinced that one of the reasons God gave us the gift of children is so that we can better understand our relationship with Him.

During the course of Jacob’s care, we found that a focus on God’s provisions for us was an absolute necessity. I may seem off base to say this, but I have thankfulness in my heart for the experience of having witnessed such a little, loved infant live boldly for 44 days and then pass into the loving arms of his savior. That process, if nothing else, led me straight that same savior. The suffering and heartbreak I experienced as a parent was taken over by the solidified relationship with my Lord. I was able to contemplate and examine life in a new way – one that was not available before Jacob’s arrival. For that, I am eternally grateful.