When a loss occurs, a reasonable reaction is simply to avoid bringing it up in regular conversation. Let me suggest that the value of conversation begs us to engage despite the nature of the subject.
We are very thankful for the cautious and loving attitude exhibited by our friends and family as they hesitate raising the topic of our loss of baby Jacob. We know that the hesitation is the result of their concern for our feelings, and is also likely the result of the uncomfortable nature of it all. Allow me to say that, for us, it is okay to discuss the issue of Jacob, and our story.
Sharing our story is important to us. We appreciate the kind words directed our way in response, and the comfort those words bring to us. I would have thought that talking about Jacob would typically involve a one-way conversation, with us on the receiving end of sympathies and various other loving comments. Admittedly, I would not have thought that losing Jacob would lead to opportunities to reach others with comforting words of our own. In this way, the benefits of conversation are felt in both directions.
We also greatly desire to avoid any chance that the memory of Jacob fades. When we have the opportunity to speak about him, and his story, things stay fresh. Although his loss was certainly heartbreaking, we have several fond memories of our 44 days with him. Avoiding his story, and what he meant to us and those around us, would be a shame and we have no intention of keeping it to ourselves.
Add to this the fact that so many people have reached out to us to express how Jacob’s story, and our reaction to it, has lifted them up. The very true fact is that regardless of how difficult it might be for us on any given day to recall the story, we are inspired and encouraged by its positive impact. And while we are lifted by the comments to this blog, the immediate and positive effects revealed during a personal conversation are even better. So, allow us the joy of sharing Jacob’s story by engaging us in conversation.
Jacobs Ripples 
I am glad you wrote about this. When my father died, our friends would not talk about him because they were afraid it would bring us to tears and bring sadness to us. We actually needed and wanted to talk about him and our memories. It was a very healing thing for us. Thanks for the encouragement. Kay Howard
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I feel the same way. I need to talk about Randy’s death. I wish people would ask me about him–anything! If we don’t talk about him we will hold all this grief inside. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
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