Shared Experiences

Our life experiences are the most valuable resource for the next generation and those that follow.

Parents often share experiences with their children. Advice such as “Don’t touch the hot stove our you’ll get burned” or “brush your teeth so you won’t get cavities” stems from familiarity with results of action, inaction and impact. Sharing experiences can be a valuable teaching tool, preventing mistakes or encouraging good choices.

The concept of sharing life experiences with the next generations is not new. Certainly it was a common teaching technique before the advent of textbooks and the immediate nature of the Internet (although I would argue that it is still the best method of teaching even in modern times). Explaining how  events have altered our course, or made us feel, is important to growing minds who undoubtedly will face their own version of those events. The knowledge they gain from conversations like this will prove useful to them. Perhaps they can avoid problems, seek out positive paths, or handle adversity knowing that survival and growth is in store for them.

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children…. – Deut 4:9.

The value of shared experiences rises exponentially when we discuss such things as God’s plans and His grace with our children. And we must not stop there; we need to make sure that the  following generations also benefit. So, how many of us do this? How much more likely is a grandfather to share a fish story of his Big Catch than a tough experience in which his faith saw him through? A mother may find it easier to explain that sparks  can fly off foil in the microwave than to tell of a prayer that was answered in a way she didn’t expect.

Despite the entertainment value of fish stories and science experiments, the lessons of God’s work within us have lasting impact for, among many other reasons, the comfort they bring to the next generation as they face similar moments in life.  An adult child is far better equipped to handle a significant loss if her parents have shared how their faith enabled them through their own loss. A young man might just choose the correct path during a moral dilemma if his grandfather mentioned his own tough choices.

Tell kids stories about your failures. – Tim Elmore

The fact that Deb and I have shared our struggles with our daughter about the loss of Jacob has undoubtedly aided her in dealing with her own grief. We tackle this issue as a family “team”, not individually. We bond as a result, and feel better equipped to handle the impending wave of emotions. We are no longer embarrassed or afraid to share our concerns with each other simply because we’ve already developed a good habit of sharing our other experiences.

I will leave you with this thought. If we fail to share our experiences, we leave a gap in the lives of our children – a gap that surely will be filled by someone else. Should we leave this to chance, and hope that someone else will positively influence them? Shortly after Jacob was born, I wrote a post asking our readers to spend quality time in devotions and prayer with their children. Many of you commented to us that you indeed found this family time to be a great benefit to you and your children. Please use these same moments to share your experiences, both successes and failures, with them. And, as always, please let us know how it goes!