Watching You

The fact that our children learn from watching our every move is adorable, and frightening.

Rodney Atkins sings about his relationship with his young son in the song “Watching You”. He provides many examples of just how his son picked up cues and language and actions by watching dear old dad. For instance, his son spills his french fries in the car and utters the “S” word. When dad asks where he learned that to talk like that, his son replies “I’ve been watching you, dad!” The song proceeds into the refrain, with more examples of cute mimicry, ending with the phrase “I wanna do everything you do, so I’ve been watching you.”

We parents will notice immediately that our children, at least up to a certain age, will repeat our words, wear our clothes and shoes, and act in ways that remind others of us. In short, they learn from us by watching us. They want to do the things we do. They want to be… us.

Just recently, we discovered a note from our ten year old daughter she wrote in second grade which was placed inside of Deb’s Bible. The note says “I love you mommy and daddy” and cites Romans 15:13: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Now, she could have learned that verse in church, or even the Christian day school she attends. Maybe she picked it up during one of our evening devotionals. But the most important aspect of this note for Deb and I as parents wasn’t the content as much as the placement. She didn’t simply give the note to us, she placed it in the Bible. She has seen us regularly read the book and knew we would find her special note there. We had unknowingly communicated to her that spending time in God’s Word was time well spent, and she certainly was watching us. We couldn’t have been more proud of her at that moment, even if we didn’t stumble across the note in that section of the Bible until years later!

But also how frightening. How often do our children watch us hold our tablets and phones rather than interacting with them? What are we teaching them about relationships between spouses, friends, co-workers, strangers and family as we vocalize our frustrations following a bad day at work or deal with the clerk at the grocery store counter? Our children are watching us, picking up the most subtle cues. Do not waste these opportunities to impact them positively, and to teach them to be wonderful people.