This weekend, we acknowledged more milestones regarding Jacob. July 9th would have been his 3 month birthday. July 7th marked the same amount of days he’s been away from us as those he spent with us = 44. Our family also celebrated a couple of other birthdays, and generally experienced some happy times and good memories over the last few weeks. These events help us to realize that time continues to move along, not stopping for us to wallow in self-pity or doubt or remorse but instead to celebrate life and accomplishments.
These past weeks have given me a bit of an unique opportunity to reflect on my own grief, and to observe others who grieve over the loss of loved ones. I believe the most significant feeling of “loss” is felt because we tend to think back on the past in a way that makes us ponder what we could have done to change the ultimate outcome rather than to embrace it. Sure, we realize we cannot actually change a loss like that. But it is not in our nature to accept change, especially when it’s not planned.
Still, we hesitate to look forward at the new possibilities. In a way, it appears that there is relative comfort in the bubble of the memory of what was. Recalling my prior post on the Monkey Bars, this process of staying in the memory is akin to hanging on one bar- never moving on to the next. Eventually you grow weary and begin to ache. And so it is crucial to reach out to the next bar and continue to move along. Interestingly, the beauty about milestones is that they are wonderful both because of the memory of the past AND because they represent a progression into the future. Sure a young couples first wedding anniversary is something to treasure, but so is that couples’ 50th anniversary!
Deb and I are very grateful to God and to all of those who have helped carry us to the subsequent bars. We began attending a support group for parents who have experienced a similar loss as ours. The stories would not only melt but lift your hearts. So much pain, triumph, loss, and love. Many of you have shared with us your own stories, and we thank you for that. We truly hope that, in some way, this journal can help others on their path as well.
Jacobs Ripples 
I can’t imagine the stories you’ve heard but can only imagine how helpful it is to talk to others that are on those same “monkey bars” as you. It is hard to believe that 44 days have passed. It doesn’t seem like it. Still keeping you guys close in my thoughts and prayers.
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