(Original appeared June 29, 2016)
Last evening, Deb and I enjoyed the 10th-birthday celebration of our daughter, along with friends and family. She was surprised by the party itself, and giggled with glee several times during the course of the evening. Not much else makes a parent happier or prouder than to see the utter joy and happy expressions on the face of their child. And yet, there were so many moments that I paused selfishly to reflect on the fact that we would never be able to have this party for Jacob. Those moments teased and prompted the question “Why?” each time. They could have been a conduit for the temptation to become angry at the situation; frustrated at what could have been but instead was lost. Although I could have taken the opportunity (like so many opportunities before then) to either shake my fist at God, or cower in a dark corner, I instead focused on the moment itself, calmly letting the joy of the celebration wash over me and turning away the anger and doubt and confusion.
I am not so sure I would have been able to do that as easily had I not heard – earlier that same day – the tail-end of a Bible study on the radio. The study was about overcoming fear. The pastor referred to this verse: “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7. The context of Paul’s letter to Timothy involves his encouragement to the young pastor to continue a powerful witness to the glory of God, and not to be fearful or ashamed. And yet, I was able to turn this verse to my own purpose, realizing that in moments such as this I was experiencing an unhealthy fear that as based in large part to doubting God’s plan. Well, this verse fit perfectly with another favorite of mine from Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Together, these verses are a kick in the pants to someone, like me, who begins to fall into the vicious circle of doubt, loathing, anger or sadness based on fear and the bitterness of what could have been.
Encouraged by His word, I snapped to and made the now-easy effort to enjoy the moment of this wonderful birthday party. I smiled as I watched the children thoroughly enjoy themselves with activities, pizza, cake and presents. And to think… I almost missed it. -R
Jacobs Ripples 